Maybe subconsciously I don't want to be pregnant. I keep doing things that are going to make me gain weight. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am sleeping too much and I'm extremely moody. More than ever. Life sucks one minute and the next, with nothing really changing, life is the best it's ever been. In the mean time, I'm eating based on my mood and I've lost a lot of weight but gained it all back and more.
I don't like failing. I'm at a point in my life that I wonder whether I should find a therapist and see what someone trained thinks. Am I just being whiny? Do I need to stop being so self-involved? Would going to church and finding my peace with God help?
My dreams have been vivid lately. I wake up in the night and have to convince myself that I was truly dreaming. Some of my deepest wishes and fears have been coming out lately. For instance, the other night I dreamed that Linda Sasser liked me...really liked me. It made me feel confident in my ability as a team member, which made me work harder. Last night, I dreamed my closest friends and family and I were put in a concentration camp. I was able to strike up a rapport with the guards through my amazing, but limited German language skills. Oh, I was thin, like in high school. They let us all go...even the people I didn't really know. Then, that dream turned into me having a job where I spoke German a lot.
So, I guess I should get going. Quinn and I are going to play tennis with my former vice president today. The world is an odd place.
Name: Terese I.
Town: Oklahoma City, OK
Age: 31 years, 9 months and 1 day
Height: 67 1/2" ( 5' 7 1/2")
Weight: 225.8 lbs
Week: 5
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