The journey continues...

Well, I have to give it up for Weight Watchers....EIGHT pounds in one week! I can't believe it. Just by cutting my food intake I've dropped eight pounds. I sucked big time on the working out this week, though. I didn't make it to the gym one time. Imagine what my progress would have been if I had only kept exercising. I'm feeling a lot better about myself today than last week. I'm still terribly overweight, but I am really doing something about it. I've let everyone know that I'm back "on the wagon" and they are being extremely helpful.

I can't blog long today as I'm going to meet a couple of co-workers to watch a movie. Maybe I'll add more to this later...

I've got a long way to go, don't get me wrong, but I'm at least still walking along the path.

Blah. I sent Quinn out to pick up dinner and he brought me back a burger, fries and a shake. I feel miserable now. I only ate three of the fries, so I at least didn't totally screw up. I fortunately have all of my extra points for the week, so there they went. This just sucks because now I feel all bloated and gross. Why didn't I just say no to the shake? Or just eat a tiny portion and put it in the freezer? I suck. I only had 5 points left for the day, so I really went over. I guess I'll see this tomorrow on the scale. So much for the 8-pound week.

Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. Damnit.

Oh, and I was just first out at poker AGAIN! I hate this stupid game and yet I still keep coming back. I want to belong to the cool kids' group so much even in adulthood. I do things I don't want to do just so I'll fit in and be a part of a crowd. That pisses me off. I'd be so much happier if I didn't give a shit about belonging to groups. Maybe next year I can work on that.

Name: Terese I.
Town: Oklahoma City, OK
Age: 31 years, 8 months and 10 days
Height: 67 1/2" ( 5' 7 1/2")
Weight: 225.8 lbs
Week: 2

The Ugly Truth:
I am terribly overweight and am suffering from it. I am tired all the time and I feel sickly. I am now tired of feeling this way. I think I'm moodier than I ever have been before. My thoughts are consumed with how fat I am. I have started either 1) avoiding looking in the mirror or 2) obsessing in the mirror about all of my fat rolls. Both are not healthy behaviors. So, it's time for a change, and that's what this blog is all about. There may be days that I choose to talk about financial problems or finishing school or fertility, but today it's all about losing weight.

The picture of me is from our recent trip to Alcatraz. It's appropriate because I'm back up to the highest weight I've ever been and I feel like I'm in prison. Trapped by my own inability to control my cravings...

My Motivations:
1. My parents have several health issues I'd like to avoid: diabetes, back problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, shortness of breath after simple movements, etc. I don't want to be that way now or in the future.
2. I'd like to be more comfortable in public places: having to use the wide bed at the hospital, sitting uncomfortably for hours in airplanes, never feeling comfortable at concerts.
3. My doctor said I had to lose 20% of my body weight to have a chance at not only getting pregnant, but being healthy during it. I want to be a mom. I have since I was five. It's not something that will change, even if I try to convince myself I don't want it.
4. I liked it better when I didn't constantly think about how much space I was taking.
5. I'm not sleeping well. I toss and turn all night long and I'm pretty sure it has to do with my weight.
6. Shopping is not enjoyable - clothes are tight and the fashions available are dowdy and old.

My Plan is to lose 50 pounds in 52 weeks by doing the following:
1. I have to take Weight Watchers seriously. Sweets are not important enough to keep eating if they are what cause the above medical issues and public embarrassments. It's time to start tracking everything on paper and not assume I'll remember all the numbers.
2. I have to keep exercising at the gym, only increase to five days a week. Although I've run late on many of the days, I have proven I can get to the gym early three days a week, so five shouldn't be a problem.
3. I need to increase the amount of water I drink each day. I haven't been drinking enough of anything, really, and when I do, I drink soda. I need to get back to water, unsweetened tea, juice and milk only.
4. I need to start taking vitamins. If I'm serious about being healthy, this is vital.
5. I have to write it all down and be accountable. This blog is all about that.

There will be no lying on this blog. I'm not advertising this blog to my friends or family. This is about me and I have to own up to the truth, so here it is:

Name: Terese I.
Town: Oklahoma City, OK
Age: 31 years, 8 months and 3 days
Height: 67 1/2" ( 5' 7 1/2")
Weight: 233.8 lbs
Week: 1

Each week I will update this information and talk about my struggles - the skinny people complaining about being fat, the cake that everyone else was eating, the drink I really wanted from a bad day - everything. I promise this will be totally candid. It's not here for anyone else, but if someone finds it, reads it and gains something from it, I'm glad. But, just know this - it's all about me.